My second playdate with Daisy didn’t happen until early October 2024 due to both us and Autism Dogs having had to reschedule at one point. But we finally made it happen and we were headed back to the farm to see Daisy. We had Izzy with us again to give both of the dogs another chance to get to know each other. And since this trip included two sessions over two days, we booked a dog-friendly hotel for the night before and the night between the two sessions; it was a Holiday Inn Express, which turned out to be a really good choice because it had a lot of my safe foods!
NIGHT BEFORE
Mum and I drove up to Stoke-on-Trent the night before the first day; we’d be starting early and we never would’ve made it up in time if we’d driven up the morning of. We got settled in our hotel room and although Izzy still struggled with the noises from the hall and the surrounding rooms, she did better than she had on the last trip. We had some dinner, chilled out with some TV, and went to bed early so that I could manage the early start the next morning.
DAY ONE
We were up and out early to get to the Autism Dogs farm in time for our session with Daisy. I’m always so excited to see her and work with her again but I do find it quite nerve-wracking: there’s just so much to learn and remember and I get so anxious about doing things wrong that it can get pretty overwhelming at times.
Izzy and I waited in the paddock while Mum let them know we’d arrived and then returned with Daisy and one of the trainers. Izzy was definitely more excited to see Mum than she was to see Daisy. Having Izzy present for these sessions would hopefully allow the two dogs to get more comfortable around each other; starting out in the paddock gave them plenty of space to move around, to set boundaries and test them, and we even got them walking together after a while.
Then, in the training room, we used the smaller space to try and build on that. We encouraged them to interact a little bit more but just existing calmly in the same room together was a positive step forward, considering how they’d just barked at each other during the previous session. They did well: progress was definitely made and they were very cute to watch. They were still struggling with competing for my attention – and getting jealous when I engaged with the other – but I would’ve been surprised if we’d managed to solve that in two sessions: Izzy has practically been glued to me since I got her and, of the time I’ve spent with Daisy, she’s rarely had to share me. So neither of them are keen on the other being with ‘their person.’
I also did some more lead walking practice with Daisy – I find the multi-tasking aspect of it really difficult so I wanted as much practice as I could get – and, to my surprise, it did feel easier this time. That was a big relief to me: I find it really easy to spiral about not being good at any of this and finding it so overwhelming, so to tangibly feel that progress was definitely reassuring.
We spent the rest of the session in the training room, just hanging out and letting everyone get used to each other. It was a chance not just for me and Daisy to bond but for my Mum and Daisy to build a relationship too, for Daisy and Izzy to get more comfortable together, to reassure Izzy that everything was still the same with Daisy around… It’s obviously easier for me and Mum while the dogs need a lot more reassurance and rewarding for every positive interaction. As you can see from the photos below, Izzy still wasn’t convinced and really just wanted me to herself but this is all still very new to her and so it’s going to take time. At the very least, they were a lot less bark-y, which my ears were very grateful for.
Ever since The Eras Tour ended in August (I know I haven’t written about that experience yet but I do want to – the brain fog has just been brutal), I’ve been feeling bereft of making friendship bracelets and so I’d been making as many as I could for the staff at the farm. I’m not sure how many I ended up making up in the end but I left them there that afternoon to be passed around during the afternoon, evening, and the next morning. I’d made a personalised set for myself and for Mum and then for Caroline (the founder and CEO) as well, as a thank you for all of her support.
Back at the hotel, I had to have a nap, exhausted by the intensity and focus of the playdate, and then Mum and I checked out the hotel’s pool. It was small (which was fine) and busy (which wasn’t ideal) but I got to stretch, do some of my hydrotherapy exercises, and get some gentle exercise, which definitely helped my chronic pain. The amount of time I spent scrunched up in the car on the drive to and from the farm isn’t great for my body as a person with Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome so having access to a pool was really great.
Between the playdate and the swim, I was completely exhausted – even with my nap – so we had a quiet evening. We had dinner (with an awesome chocolate pudding!) and cuddles with Izzy in front of Red Eye before going to bed early since we had an early start the next day.
DAY TWO
The second day began earlier than the first day, which was a bit of a struggle for me since I hadn’t slept particularly well (which I generally don’t when I’m away from home). But we made it and began the playdate in the paddock, giving Daisy and Izzy a chance to get reacquainted: they were much calmer than the day before, which was reassuring and pretty cute.
Then we headed inside and went over some of Daisy’s commands again, which was really good because there are a lot of things to remember and in the time between playdates, I’d worried that I’d forgotten all of it. But having said that, I felt like I’d retained a lot more than I’d thought, which was very reassuring. That was actually good timing because, on that particular day, Daisy wasn’t at her most well-behaved (I think she was just overexcited). That sounds odd to say but it meant that I got to see how the trainers correct the undesirable behaviours and regain the dog’s focus and then practice it myself. Again, it’s really good knowledge to have but I was exhausted! I was learning a lot, learning it fast, and having to concentrate and process information really fast; it was hard work. In hindsight, we probably could’ve taken it a bit slower but between my anxiety about learning everything and just getting caught up in everything, that didn’t occur to me until later.
After that, we had a break and I got to have some good cuddle time with Daisy, which I always look forward to: she’s so gentle and sweet and affectionate – once she’s settled down a bit and worked off her excitement! I was so tired that I practically fell asleep curled up with her and could’ve happily stayed like that for the rest of the day.
After the break, we were headed out to the paddock but, before we went outside, I was shown how to get Daisy’s slip lead – her working lead – on quickly and efficiently. I needed to watch it a few times but once I had all of the steps in my head, I actually didn’t find it too difficult; I even managed to do it smoothly on just my second try. That was very pleasing, especially since I’ve struggled with feeling like I’m just not very good at any of this (regardless of whether it’s objectively true or not – or the idea that I’m still learning and it’s the practice that makes you good at something).
Out in the paddock, we did some recall practice, which Daisy did struggle with initially; she is, after all, very used to doing recall with the trainers. But once she realised that I had treats and made a huge fuss of her when she came to me, we had it down. I had to laugh: labradors are so predictable when there’s food in play.
Then we went out into the lane to practice her lead walking, which is how she’ll walk with me when we’re out in public, when she’s working: she stays close to my body and keeps her attention on me and (at least at this point) I reward her whenever she makes eye contact with me, checking in. It was actually starting to feel a bit easier and not so overwhelming, which definitely felt like an achievement.
That was officially the end of the day but the farm did have a relatively new litter of puppies that they will hopefully be training to be more Autism Dogs and I got to spend a little bit of time with them before we left. They were gorgeous in that way that puppies just are, especially Labrador puppies in my opinion; they were all soft and warm and snuggly. And for some reason, they smell amazing. I was besieged by them the moment I put my hands in the pen and although my Mum joked that I couldn’t kidnap one, I think the real danger was them kidnapping me: they just attached themselves to my jumper and every time I peeled one off, another had got their teeth into it, and eventually I had to be rescued because two hands just weren’t enough. They were utterly divine though and I had some lovely cuddles, which just gave me such a serotonin boost.
The sessions are pretty intense and require a lot of mental energy at the very least so it was a really nice way – the perfect way – to just decompress for a couple of minutes before getting back in the car and getting on the road. I would’ve been content to spend hours with them but eventually Mum pulled me away and we said our goodbyes, got in the car, and headed home. It was a very long drive after some very long and tiring days but it really did feel like progress is being made, despite my anxieties trying to tell me otherwise.
So that was the second playdate! Even though it was obviously more tiring to do two days in a row, I did really start to feel like I was making progress and I felt more confident with two back-to-back sessions under my belt. I have no doubt that I’ll probably get super anxious again with no way to practice the skills between the playdates but I’ve also now had proof that, even when I feel like I’ve forgotten it all, they’ll come back as soon as I was using them again.
Next up, my first sleepover with Daisy!
