Our bodies carry us through this world — aren’t you glad you aren’t just a mass of free-floating consciousness? — but they can also hold us back. Often, that’s not because of our bodies, per se, but because of our mindset.
I say often, because some people have physical and/or mobility limitations that make doing certain things more challenging. (I recently read that Stephen Hawking traveled widely for both scientific conferences and leisure, but as his ALS worsened, he increasingly—and eventually exclusively—traveled by private jet, but this is a luxury available to a small fraction of people.)
Anyway, our thoughts, feelings and beliefs about our bodies — how they look and how they function and whether this is “acceptable” — can have a profound effect on how we move through the world (with confidence or not) and this includes how we spend our time, money and energy.
Signs that you have body concerns
Do you do any of these things?
- Count/track calories, macros or points?
- Scrutinize yourself in the mirror?
- Take pains to avoid seeing your reflection?
- Worry about what your body looks like (or might look like in the future if you aren’t “careful”)?
- Worry that your outfit makes you look bigger or older than you are?
- Spend hours shopping for clothes that might make you look smaller or younger?
- Overheat in the summer because you want to keep your body covered?
- Only exercise in places or at times when few people will be around to look at your body?
- Avoid dancing at weddings, parties or concerts because that makes your body too openly visible?
- Refuse to leave the house without full makeup (even if you’re just running to the grocery store for one thing)?
- Avoid social events because you don’t like how you look?
- Avoid social events involving food because you’re on a diet?
- Avoid eating at social events because you want to look like you’re on a diet?
- Obsessing about menopause-related body changes?
- Make excuses to your kids about why you won’t swim with them, because you don’t want to be seen in a bathing suit?
- Put off taking that dream trip until you’re thinner?
If you answered “yes,” ask yourself if this is truly how you want to live. It can also be helpful to ask yourself this question: “If I woke up tomorrow and the world had shifted so that no one cared about appearances, what would I start doing differently?”
The reality is that there are societal “ideals” about appearance. That sucks, but it’s not going to change anytime soon. So we can let that stop us from living our best lives, or we can do (the thing) anyways.
We can wear the swimsuit. We can spend time with friends even if we’ve gained weight. We can wear clothes that are weather-appropriate even if that means showing some skin. We can spend time reading or engaging in hobbies instead of micromanaging what we eat. We can go to the gym (if that’s something we enjoy) even if we’re the least (visibly) fit person there. You can get up and dance when a song you love is playing.
Reflect and take action
What things would you be doing more of, less of, or differently if you weren’t concerned about your body?
Pick one thing to do that will help you practice “doing it anyways” and getting closer to how you truly want to live. Do that thing twice in the next week.
“Doing it anyways” is a little like ripping off a Band-Aid. It can feel a little painful, but once you do it, you realize the anticipation was the worst part. And it gets easier the more you do it.
When choosing your thing, you don’t have to do a metaphorical full-body jump into the deep end of an unheated pool. You can take baby steps.
For example, I once had a larger-bodied client who spent summers sweltering because she wouldn’t to the grocery store, the park, or a backyard barbecue unless she was covered up with jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. She started out by wearing shorts and a short-sleeve shirt when she was in her own yard. When that felt OK, she wore a similar outfit to the park with her kids. Then she wore a similar outfit to the grocery store. Then she wore a similar outfit to a friend’s barbecue.
Guess what? She was more comfortable, physically, and she got over the initial mental discomfort, too.
Similarly, I had an older, larger-bodied client who went on a trip to Italy in the summer. She would normally keep herself covered up, but she said “F*ck it” and bought shorts and sleeveless shirts to take on her trip. Guess what? She was a million times more comfortable and she quickly got over any mental trepidation.
You only have one life, and it is not a dress rehearsal. Go live it!
Hi, I’m Carrie Dennett, MPH, RDN, a weight-inclusive registered dietitian, nutrition therapist and body image counselor. I help adults of all ages, shapes, sizes and genders who want to break free from disordered eating or chronic dieting, learn how to manage IBS symptoms with food, or improve their nutrition and lifestyle habits to help manage a current health concern or simply support their overall health and well-being. This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute individualized nutrition or medical advice.
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