8 Couples Therapy Activities in Counseling

Couples therapy is a widely accepted and practiced method of reducing distress among couples and enhancing the quality of their relationships. Couples counseling can be used as a standalone treatment option or in addition to other treatment services, such as individual therapy, psychoeducation, inpatient care, and outpatient care. Approximately 70% of psychotherapists around the world provide couples counseling services, highlighting the prevalence of this treatment option. Keep reading to learn 8 couples therapy activities you can implement in your counseling sessions.

Couples counseling provides a much-needed treatment option, as the prevalence of divorce around the globe has been increasing since the 1970s. An estimated 40% to 50% of first-time marriages within the United States end in divorce. Divorce has become more common in areas of the world where it was previously socially unacceptable and uncommon.

Couples counseling is not only an option for those who are contemplating a divorce or separation. It can also be helpful for those who are experiencing relationship distress stemming from underlying behavioral or medical concerns. Research has indicated that a common underlying factor for dissatisfaction among couples is having one or both partners experiencing mental health concerns. Relationship distress is more common with partners who are living with a mood disorder, anxiety disorder, or substance use disorder. Couples who find that their relationship distress is negatively impacting their children may also be more inclined to seek treatment.

Couples therapy can be an effective tool for couples who have high expectations for their lives and their relationships. It can help establish boundaries, improve communication patterns, address unresolved conflict, and find a path forward that benefits the family as a whole. Those who engage in couples therapy are often 70% to 80% better off regarding their mental health than those who receive no mental health treatment. It is important to note that couples counseling can be used by individuals who are in various stages of relationships and is not exclusive to married couples. Many find that engaging in couples sessions before getting married can help establish clear expectations, set boundaries, and highlight shared values and goals. 

How Couples Therapy Activities Can Help Your Clients

Couples therapy activities can be used to enhance traditional psychotherapy approaches. There are several benefits that you and your clients may observe, including:

• Encouraging emotional expression
• Improving communication skills
• Re-establishing trust and safety
• Enhancing emotional connections
• Gaining insight into relational patterns
• Reducing tension and resolving lingering conflict
• Improving conflict resolution skills
• Promoting active participation in therapy sessions
• Gaining insights into different learning styles and relational needs

As a therapist, you can customize activities for couples therapy based on the needs of your clients. The activities that you use can target different challenges or patterns within the relationship that contribute to their distress and dissatisfaction.

Many clinicians find that using worksheets can help guide couples therapy exercises in session and provide clients with a reminder of their session at home. TherapyByPro is a leading professional resource that has a diverse range of worksheets available for psychotherapists, including some for couples therapy. Examples of worksheets that could easily be incorporated into couples therapy sessions include:

Couples Therapy Activities and Exercises for Your Clients

As you review our list of couples therapy activities, we encourage you to brainstorm how you can customize these interventions to your clients, addressing their unique needs. Couples therapy exercises can be used to promote engagement from partners and help them work through their concerns together. Continue reading for our list of activities for couples therapy sessions:

1. The Gottman Love Map exercise is a common activity in couples therapy. With this activity, your clients will ask each other questions about their inner world. This can include topics like their dreams, worries, and goals. This activity can be used to promote emotional connection, highlight shared experiences, and strengthen their knowledge of each other.
2. Active listening exercises can be used to improve communication between partners. With this activity, one partner will speak, while the other’s response will focus on reflecting and paraphrasing what they were told. This can help reduce the frequency of misunderstandings within a relationship and provide opportunities for emotional validation between partners.
3. Journaling is a common activity for psychotherapy. With couples counseling, you can provide your clients with prompts to write about in between sessions. As an example, you can ask them to write about one thing they appreciate about their partner each day. You can encourage them to bring their journal to their next session and share their entries. This can help increase emotional connection, decrease resentments, and shift the focus of their session to gratitude rather than conflicts and concerns.
4. Couples who find themselves experiencing recurring patterns of arguments or conflict may benefit from conflict mapping. Conflict mapping can provide a visual perspective to recurring arguments so that couples can work together to identify underlying triggers. This can help increase awareness around chronic arguments and identify unmet needs that contribute to their recurrence.
5. A role-reversal exercise may be recommended for clients who find themselves struggling to understand their partner’s perspective during an argument or time of disagreement. With this activity, they will act out what they perceive as the other’s perspective during a time of conflict. This can be a validating experience that promotes understanding and empathy, while reducing blaming behaviors. This activity can also help promote healthy communication patterns during moments of high stress or tension.
6. Emotional wheels can be introduced into couples counseling to help partners communicate how they are feeling. It can be challenging to pinpoint how partners are feeling based on their behaviors and body language alone. Without proper communication, there can be misunderstandings, which can increase relationship conflict and distress. An emotional wheel can also be helpful at home and used as a routine way to check in with each other and assess current needs.
7. Goal planning is an activity that can help partners align their thoughts and expectations. This can be helpful with clients who feel as though their relationship has no direction or that they are going in different directions. You can ask your clients to work together to set goals and identify the steps that they can use to work towards accomplishing them. This can provide couples with an idea of how to move forward collectively.
8. Conflict is a natural occurrence within relationships. Creating fair fighting rules can help your clients learn conflict resolution skills that can help them when they find themselves in these challenging moments. This can decrease the presence of verbal aggression, recurrent arguments, and unnecessary escalation. You can use time in therapy sessions to teach and practice effective conflict resolution skills and encourage your clients to talk about their use of these skills at home in future sessions.

Final Thoughts On Choosing The Right Couples Therapy Activities for your Clients

When choosing couples therapy activities, we encourage you to be mindful of the couple’s dynamics, communication styles, and the challenges that they experience. The treatment interventions and activities that you use will likely vary for each couple, as every relationship has its unique characteristics. Some clients may benefit from focusing on effective communication styles, while others may need to focus on deeper concerns stemming from unresolved trauma, infidelity, and betrayal.

Additionally, it is important to determine the emotional readiness of each person and to explore how vulnerable they are willing to be in session. Clients who are emotionally guarded or shut down may not benefit from emotionally-focused exercises like the Gottman Love Map exercise. It may take time using low-pressure activities and learning emotion regulation skills to help clients feel safe so they can then take sessions to a deeper level.

As clinicians, we can use our knowledge and experience to assess a couple’s comfort levels and relationship goals to personalize couples therapy activities. Additionally, it is important to be mindful of mental health conditions or challenges that may be contributing to relational distress, and helping your clients receive the support they need and comprehensive care.

Suppose you would like to learn more about couples therapy activities and how you can apply them to your clinical setting. In that case, we encourage you to look for appropriate training and continuing education opportunities within your niche. As noted above, couples counseling is a commonly used treatment approach that highlights the importance of having an understanding of when it would be an effective treatment option. 

Resources:

• Spengler, P. M., Lee, N. A., Wiebe, S. A., & Wittenborn, A. K. (2024). A comprehensive meta-analysis on the efficacy of emotionally focused couple therapy. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 13(2), 81–99. https://doi.org/10.1037/cfp0000233
• Sussex Publishers. (n.d.-j). The most effective couples therapy, by far. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-relationships/202101/the-most-effective-couples-therapy-by-far