Monica Crowley Sparks Debate With Alcatraz Proposal

That tweet is what got everyone started: and that’s to say they were yelling at each other in all caps. In his only words, the conservative polemicist Crowley wrote: “Make the Rock Great Again!” with a link probably referring to reopening Alcatraz. Yes, that Alcatraz-the infamous island prison and tourist spot for almost 70 years. Instantly, the collective brand of internet is gone.

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A few went completely in. Robert Pickard USA Buildings responded with triple thumbs-up emojis and the “flag”: “One of the BEST ideas ever.” At the same time, Jim Brown entertained the thought that Ron DeSantis could kick in some swampy Florida land to house the, well, “unwanted guests.” Sporadically enthusiastic were they.

But not everyone was in favor of the scheme. Tracy Pastrof said, “It would be incredibly expensive. There’s no fresh water there. The buildings are historical monuments.” As if geography and logistics didn’t matter. Brian Angelle poured more fuel into the fire, reminding everyone that Alcatraz closed some 65 years ago because it cost three times as much to run as any other prison. Oops.

Then came the frenzy. Diane Crawford from Canada replied twice with sarcastic cheers for American taxpayers footing the bill. Superawesomeactionhero went full keyboard warrior, accusing Crowly of being a “Russian bot account or eating Cheetos in your mom’s basement.” Harsh, yet creative.

Those political jabs came in rapid-fire style: Rogernva said this would “blow the Democrats’ minds,” and MAGA_Idiocracy said it would be “done in time for [Trump’s] arrival.” Bipinbarr going to suggest stuffing Congress members who have a net worth in excess of $10 million inside. Meanwhile, Dionicio went on a full-blown patriotic-hysterical rant about overthrowing the government and Chinese flags in San Francisco. Again-too much!

Even the Trump supporters were split. Dennis Blomquist, who usually does agree with a former president, has never been sold on the idea of turning a historic site into another prison. Jay out and said it is a “bad idea” and that they should build another desert complex instead. Meanwhile, Gamer 🕹️🏓 accused Trump of being “wicked” and is, well, doomed forever. Ouch!

The tweet itself was vague—no details, just vibes—oh, but the replies! Ranging from practical considerations to solid conspiracy theories, one thing is sure: Alcatraz is not a dot in the history books. It’s a demonstration interjecting any drama your little heart can invest in at the moment.

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So, now what? Most likely, not going to happen. But if only for a couple of hours, Twitter screamed into the void about prison islands, money from the taxpayers, and the merits of Cheeto dust as a political ideology. Now, ain’t that an American pastime?